January 15, 2004


I try not to spend too much time just being snarky for snarks sake, but this is just the weirdest fucking thing I've read in a long, long time.

...Those who are opposed to space exploration are petty, small-minded, and unable to see the future that is right before their eyes. Travel into space is more than a mere dream, it is a key element of the further advancement of humanity. We live in a system of planets, all of which are ours- even Europa, despite what some might say...

Look. I've been a big fan of space exploration. I remember as a kid first getting interested in reading the paper when Voyager I began sending images back to the NASA. I remember that I always got excited to see the newest edition of Astronomy texts to see what new information we had learned about our outer planets, and I certainly feel that NASA has a role, even when others argue about the inherent dangers and ROI. Still. I'm guessing the Europa comment is some kind of EU crack, or apparently the Romulans are moving in on our territory.

...More to the point, space is the key to the American future. Whoever owns the stars will be the master of all humanity. No other nation, no other civilization, or other race can be allowed to take his honor. Space must be American just as Virginia or Colorado is American. It is our collective destiny, our birthright....

The key? THE Key? Not a sustainable economy? Not growth and productivity? Well, I guess the space race brought us an enormity of scientific and military advances, as well as Tang, comfortable pillows and advances in everything from watch making to watch repair.

And our birthright? Apparently I'd better head to the 7-11 and grab the last couple of Red Bulls of the shelf, lest the prophecy go unfulfilled.

Some will ridicule those who dream of Space Empire or speak of the future colonization of the Moon and Mars. Yet these will be the realities of the future, whether we are willing to accept them or not. The control and colonization of space will not only render humanity less vulnerable to the random chances of fate (an asteroid strike, for example) but it will also forever forestall the rise of another great power upon the Earth.

Why does this read more and more like a bad Science Fiction Novel? Oh yeah. Because it is.

Think about it for a moment. A single Star Cruiser, maneuvered into position, could drop dozens of weapons onto a target seconds after launch. Defending against such an attack, short of the use of other space vessels, would be essentially impossible. A handful of such ships could, if necessary, wipe an entire nation off the face of the Earth. In the face of such power, most rational nations would have no choice but to accept permanent American world rule....

The rebels will have to establish a base on Hoth, I guess. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL????

It may even be that we will find alien races that will have to be destroyed, lest they pose a threat, or that we will find races of servile aliens which might prove useful to us in other ways. I don't know if we will, and we won't know unless we try.

President Bush: Keeping the World Safe From Decepticons since 2004!


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